ejmoosa

Things You Find

Sometimes, something that you lost is right there within you. I lost something within me that I am slowly rediscovering: the runner within.

I lost my momentum somewhere over the Mississippi River last fall. Truth be known, I probably lost it before then, and just did not know it. The joy of running had become a memory. Instead it became a chore. Worse, a reminder of how far I had sunk. Nine minute miles were an effort. Eight minute miles a fantasy.

Those that I used to be faster than were finishing way ahead of me. I was losing sight of them in the first mile. I felt sorry for myself. I was slow and getting slower. I found ways to run slow and feel it was ok. I went to the trails, where it is natural to be slow.

Then, finally, like it should be, I got sick of myself. The motivations I once had were gone, and that is ok. But I can find new motivations and I have. I quit denying what I was doing. I quit looking in the mirror, or more accurately, my running log. But those days are gone. I am dropping weight. I am getting faster, and my running log is up to date.

I am a runner. A runner with heart. No one can take that away from me. Not today. Not ever. Oh sure, an injury could occur. But I will always have heart.

Tonight's run was the reason I love it. I ran fast, and I ran alone, though the group was around. It was my own motivation, and I exceeded my expectations.

And that is a good thing. I found my stride. I am on the move.

posted by EJ @ 9:56 PM